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  • non-offensive jokes

    Q. Whats brown and sticky?

    A. A stick.
    "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has it's limits."

    Albert Einstein

  • #2
    Q: What's black and white and re(a)d all over?

    A: A newspaper! hahahahahahahahahahahahahah get it?

    "It's rocket science but it's well understood rocket science." - Naveen Jain


    sigpic
    2005 S2000 Silverstone Metallic - Fujita F5, ACT HDSS clutch, Work Emotion XD-9, Cobalt XR3 brake pads, Russell SS brake lines,
    Mugen reservoir socks, Modifry glove box organizer, factory headrest speakers, factory Ti shift knob, S2KCA logo throughout

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    • #3
      Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

      A. Becacuse 789.
      "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has it's limits."

      Albert Einstein

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      • #4
        A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his crotch. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey pirate, why have you got that steering wheel in your crotch?" The pirate says, "Arr, it's driving me nuts!"

        Perhaps this is a bit offensive. I apologise.
        I hope this doesn't cause some Somalians to carjack my S
        "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has it's limits."

        Albert Einstein

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        • #5
          Originally posted by griffon View Post
          Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

          A. Becacuse 789.
          Hhahahaha...

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          • #6
            A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says "For you, no charge".
            "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has it's limits."

            Albert Einstein

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            • #7
              If you go to bed with an itchy bum you'll probably wake up with a stinky finger. (This could be borderline )

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              • #8
                Confucius says : man who stands on toilet is high on pot
                '00 Civic Si supercharged (stolen)
                '95 Civic hb turbocharged (sold)
                '03 Acura CL-S supercharged (sold
                )
                '06 S2000 NA (returned)
                '11 E92 turbo (returned
                )
                '14 F10



                Become an S2KCA Member, the only NON-PROFIT S2000 Car Club

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                • #9
                  Q. What's pink and fluffy
                  A. Pink fluff

                  Two muffins are in the oven.
                  One says to the other "Oh man it's hot in here"
                  The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"

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                  • #10
                    Why don't aliens eat clowns.
                    Because they taste funny.

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                    • #11
                      Q. What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

                      A. Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.
                      "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has it's limits."

                      Albert Einstein

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                      • #12
                        Mary poppins, in a restaurant, eats all the main course but not the side:
                        "Super cauliflower cheese, eggs are ****ing 'trocious".
                        "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has it's limits."

                        Albert Einstein

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                        • #13
                          Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "T".
                          Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

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                          • #14
                            I spilled spot remover on my dog… now he’s gone

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                            • #15
                              I got in a fight with my wife last night and it was totally my fault.
                              She asked me what was on the TV and I said: dust.
                              Didn't go too well after that.

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                              • #16
                                a foolish man gives his wife a grand piano, a wise man gives his wife an upright organ!

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                                • #17
                                  Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him.....a super-calloused fragile mystic vexed by halitosis.
                                  "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has it's limits."

                                  Albert Einstein

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                                  • #18
                                    What do you call a short fortune teller who has escaped from jail?

                                    A small, medium at large.
                                    Surely you can't be serious!
                                    I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley...

                                    02 Suzuka Blue #407 - GBNF
                                    86 MR2 - GBNF
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                                    It's a 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it!

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                                    • #19
                                      Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, Are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
                                      Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
                                      The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
                                      Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
                                      Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
                                      Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
                                      Pharmacist: "All kinds ."
                                      Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"
                                      Pharmacist: "Definitely."
                                      Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
                                      Pharmacist: "Of course."
                                      Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
                                      Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
                                      Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
                                      Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
                                      Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
                                      Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes." Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
                                      '00 Civic Si supercharged (stolen)
                                      '95 Civic hb turbocharged (sold)
                                      '03 Acura CL-S supercharged (sold
                                      )
                                      '06 S2000 NA (returned)
                                      '11 E92 turbo (returned
                                      )
                                      '14 F10



                                      Become an S2KCA Member, the only NON-PROFIT S2000 Car Club

                                      Comment


                                      • #20

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